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Bullying at work
Bullying bosses are commonplace across many workplaces. So, What is
bullying? Why do bosses bully? How do you deal with bosses? Where do
victims stand legally? How can you diffuse a situation?
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What is bullying?
Bullying is what many people today think when they hear "hostile
workplace" or "hostile environment" - an environment where someone (or
a group) is threatened, harassed, belittled, verbally abused or overly
criticized. In other words, the workplace or environment is "hostile"
to good productivity.
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Why do bosses bully?
Bulling bosses have probably found that they got through school and
life using aggression and have just continued to behave in the same
way.
Many studies have been conducted into bullying
bosses. Adult bullies differ to childhood bully's, whom tend to pick on
their weaker counterparts. They will just as likely pick on strong
characters. Managers may use bullying to threaten a subordinate or even
use them as a scapegoat. Studies have shown that most managers bully
due to the sheer pleasure of it. A bully will use their power to hurt,
demean, or take advantage of others who do not feel they are in a
position to protect themselves. It may be that a bully may be under
great pressure to perform which causes them to behave in an erratic and
aggressive way. However, in general, a bully is a bully - it may just
be that more stress and pressure enhances this sort of behaviour.
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How do you deal with bosses?
There are 3 things you can do with a bullying boss: Ignore them,
Confront them or Report them. Here are some tips to follow if you are
being bullied:
1. Tell someone you trust what is happening. Ask for their help.
2. Keep a written diary of incidents, including the date, time,
situation and any witnesses.
3. Report the incident to your supervisor/manager, to the bully's
supervisor/manager or to your Personnel/Human Resources department.
4. Tell the bully that their behaviour is unacceptable and leave the
situation.
5. Don't fight back or engage in debate with the bully - you may end up
being blamed for the fight.
6. Avoid being any place alone with the bully if at all possible.
7. If someone else is nearby, ask the bully to repeat his or her
comments in front of them as a witness.
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Where do victims stand legally?
There are a number of bullying tactics that illustrates bullying at
work. Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute (WBTI) have come up with
the following top 10 bullying tactics:
· Falsely accused someone of errors not actually
made
· Stared, glared, non-verbally intimidating
· Discounted the persons thoughts or feelings - e.g 'oh that is silly'
· Use of silent treatment
· Uncontrollable mood swings in front of people
· Made up rules
· Disregarding satisfactory work even though there is evidence of it
· Harshly and constantly criticising
· Started or failed to stop destructive rumours
· Encouraged people to turn against the person being tormented.
Men and women use different tactics when they bully. Women perpetrators
are more likely to use tactics including: silent treatment, icing out
individuals and encouraging colleagues to turn against the target. Men
are however more likely to, scream publicly, use illegal verbal
tactics, name call, threaten
job loss, use punishment, threaten to do
physical harm and sabotage a persons contribution. Men are seen to be
meaner.
Unlike sexual harassment or racial discrimination,
bullying is actually legal. It may be difficult for an employee to
convince a boss that there is anything going on. Unfortunately, if you
are being bullied, you cannot pursue legal proceedings.
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How can you diffuse a situation?
You can use some of the following to try to diffuse a situation with a
bullying boss:
Disarm the situation - just be polite in your
response. If they shout at you saying e.g. 'you are so thick', then
simply say back to them, 'I wonder why you felt you had to say that' or
'Thank you, I wonder why I have achieved X,Y,Z'. This puts the
situation back on them and by backing up your statement; it shows they
are wrong in their suggestion.
Use 'I Feel' - if they have made a comment to you,
just say 'I feel like you are very aggressive when you talk to me like
that and I would prefer if you spoke to me rather than shout at me'.
Using 'I Feel' shows they cant negotiate with you.
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Bullies exist because the workplace culture supports them. Those being
bullied are resistant to challenge the bully as the incentives to do so
are far outweighed by the incentive to keep your head down. This
creates an aggressive culture and continues because it selects people
who can survive in it, those who are thick-skinned and aggressive
themselves. These people become then role models for others.
Unless people start to stand up for themselves and try to eradicate
this bullying nature now, it will continue to be a problem. It is
important that bullying becomes a more recognized issue and solutions
to the problem are accessible to everyone so that it can be dealt with
and employees can easily find ways to rectify/deal with it.
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